The War On Mold & Other Life Lessons I've Learned Thus Far

My time in the Bay Area has sadly quickly come to an end. Tomorrow I start my drive back down to L.A. I have learned a lot in these past eight weeks and I thought it might be helpful for me to share some of the things I have acquired - though simple and possibly superficial as these life lessons may be.

So brace yourselves, friends. Here are the Five Life Lessons of my 2010 Summer:

1. Costco Produce is not for the available Singles.
I, Miranda Lee, am an avid Costco shopper. My wholesale purchases used to only entail things like batteries, socks, lactaid pills, and shampoo&conditioner. However, this summer I decided to go big and buy my produce at Costco. This poor life decision has resulted in the mold-terrorism of innocent lettuce, string beans, cucumbers, and corn. Which brings me to my next topic...
2. Be Killing Mold or Mold Will be Killing You.
After throwing out $20 worth of food due to the evil white fuzzies, I finally had had enough when I saw my corn starting to turn strange colors. I refused to let mold win. It was clearly time to fight back. Fifteen minutes and what seemed like a corn massacre later, my corn looked brand new! Despite the slight tingling sensation my tongue experienced after the corn consumption, I'm pretty sure I won this war.

3. Start Superstitions, Get What You Want.
I've come to the conclusion that the best way to prevent anarchist students from rebelling is to create superstitions. The sporadically placed Berkeley golden emblem NEVER gets stepped on. Why? Because rumor has it, if you step on the gold plaque, you'll ruin your chances of ever getting a 4.0 GPA. I think this is a pretty brilliant move on behalf of the university administration. Dear Future Roommates, rumor has it that if you leave your dirty dishes unwashed, you gain 15lbs. I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin'.

 4. Pudding Only Works with Milk
There's not much of an explanation that goes along with this one. I tried to make pistachio pudding with soy milk & it never thickened. Thus, after 5 minutes of stirring & direction following, I was left with pistachio flavored green soymilk with the occasional chunks of actual pistachios. Sometimes, life can be really hard for the Lactose Intolerant. 
5. Remember People's Faces So You Don't Lose Yours. 
There's not much to say about this one either. Remember people's names & faces - especially the important people in your life. For example, oh...I don't know, maybe like a church elder or something. Just so you don't ever find yourself in an utterly humiliating situation where maybe you're trying to check him & his wife in at a wedding to tell them what table they're sitting at & and you can't find them on the list cause your brain has completely comatosed their first & last names. No amount of self-pity will be able to help you recover as you have to slowly turn to the godly couple and utter the disgraceful words, "I'm sorry, I have completely forgotten your name."