The Perils of Femininity

Today was the first day of me being in the wood shop. This is how I felt: Stupid. Stupidly Feminine.

I would say, I'm generally a pretty girly person. I played with barbies as a little girl (until her head fell off one day & put me off of barbies forever). I like the stereotypical girl things - flowers, candles, & once a month - a ton of chocolates - fries - and then gummy bears (in that order). I suck at kickball and pretty much all ball sports. I throw like a girl because, well, I am a girl. I prefer to watch HGTV over Sports Center. Though, I like to pretend that maybe, sometimes, occasionally, I enjoy watching game highlights - but that's usually because I like to annoyingly point out to those around me who I think is handsome (I'm looking at you, Herbstreit & Cousins). Yes, it's pretty clear. There's no gender identity crisis here. I am a girl - through and through.

But today, I felt differently. All of a sudden, I wished my red shirt didn't have these magenta frills on it. While others were moving large 7' planks of wood around, I suddenly wished I was a little bit more tomboyish - a little more rough around the edges. I wish I could just muscle around these large pieces of wood like it ain't no thang. But instead, I just stood there awkwardly & stared - like a rouge unused tampon on the side of a sidewalk...where everyone who walks by wonders..what on earth is that doing there? It is so uncomfortably out of place!

Nevertheless, the first day of the wood shop was a lot of fun. I managed to perfect riding the bus system all by myself (victory!) & thus I have post-poned my bike riding to another day. I can't wait for the upcoming days where (hopefully, with God's mercy), I will learn to use scary things such as the table saw and the band saw without screaming like a girl. Here's to awkward moments, feeling feminine, feeling masculine, and as always, feeling inadequate. Here's to real life.

Luckily, this truck had a crane & we were relieved of having to carry the wood up the stairs by ourselves. 

 Success!!! With some careful handeling, the maple was dropped off on the third floor of our wood shop.

 my design & drawings with my cut of maple. Isn't she a beauty? Somehow, I need to transform this plank into a rocking chair in 2 weeks. yeesh!